In order for perpetrators to abuse children, they need to get them in a place of vulnerability.
Sexual abusers don't look like what many people imagine them to be. Abusers can be children, family members, coaches, teachers, or care takers. Any type of person that has the ability to be around the child and can get them alone can be an abuser. That is why it is so easy for abusers to prey on children, because they where originally people who where trusted to be around kids.
These people usually don't just assault the child out of nowhere, they use a process of manipulation to have the child not want to say anything to other adults on the behavior of the abuser. This process of manipulation is called grooming.
Stages of Grooming
In order to get the child into an environment for sexual abuse to happen, the abuser manipulates the child through subtle behaviors and statements. This process desensitizes the child from crossing personal boundaries, tricking them into being vulnerable for sexual abuse.
Abusers Groom by many different behaviors.
- By paying extra attention to specific children
- "Accidentally" exposing themselves to the child
- Giving gifts, money, and cloths for no apparent reason
- Taking the child to places for activities
- Staring at the child excessivley
- Asking the child about their sexual development, fantasies, and masturbation habits.
- Giving detailed information on sex that is inappropriate for the child to know at their age.
- Telling the child that their body needs to be examined
- Engaging in physical contact such as wrestling, tickling, or patting their butts etc.
- Showing adult images or films
- Telling the child to come to them for any sexual questions
Once the abuser has properly groomed the child, they often keep them from telling anyone by threatening them. Threats can include telling the child that they won't provide for them anymore, that everyone will hate them, or that they won't be believed. They can even threaten to hurt them or their family.